Old Groans

These have probably done the rounds before but I thought they were funny!

1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

3. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in linoleum blownapart.

9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.'

14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No
change yet.'

17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

18. It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.

19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

20. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

21. A backward poet writes inverse.

22. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.

23. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

24. Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!

25. The lensmaker fell into his machine and made a spectacle of himself.

26. One rope asks another rope. "You a rope?" He replied "Fraid not."

It's Back

After exactly a week living by the candle, the power is finally back. Life aint arf boring without electricity.

Hurricane Ike

The tail end of Ike got us Sunday evening taking down many trees and overhead power lines.

It's now mid-day Thursday and we're still without electricity although we have all other services.
Of course, most of the contents of 2 freezers has thawed.
It's a right pain having to visit the library for internet access.
At least most major shops are open again.
Think we need to get a generator for the winter.

Two more major milestones

Permanent Resicents Card arrived yesterday so I'm now authorised to find employment and live here for the next 10 years.

Just been and passed the driving test so now have a US drivers license.

It's all coming together slowly. Just waiting for a Social Security number now.

I'm Here

Well... I'm here.
The journey was uneventful and United staff are more friendly than American.
The immigration proceedure was almost a non event other than the sheer number of people trying to get through O'Hare airport.

Got a garage full of our belongings to relocate to elsewhere in the house but we'll get there eventually.

If anybody wishes to visit, you'll all be made welcome.

Nearly time to go

It's Tuesday morning, overcast and dull and been raining most of the night.
The house is virtually empty of personal belongings and furniture; they're all sitting waiting for customs clearance in New York.
Not to worry, I've got my transportation ticket and visa and will be jetting off to a new life on 7th August. Only another 9 days of boredom to go.

We've got a house

Just home from the US after a fortnight house hunting.
We've bought a house in Xenia Ohio. Paid cash. It's all ours.
Now just got the visa/immigration process to get through.